
I sometimes see in my coaching sessions how much we as women are limiting ourselves because of our heightened sense of responsibility.
On one hand, your identity could be tied to being the person on your team who can be relied upon to take on a great deal of responsibility.
But holding on too tightly to your ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’ around how you work and achieve the results you are seeking is also sabotaging your success to some extent.
The women I coached were all convinced they were doing the right thing by their values, while also:
struggling to admit how their wellbeing is being impacted by their work environment
putting up with an unreasonable amount of stress and anxiety just trying to maintain a façade of someone who can handle it all
not giving themselves permission to exit a toxic work situation when they know they should
If this is your reality then you are hardly bringing your best to your team or your project, managing those things alongside your normal workload.
Holding responsibility is about the doing, and that has gotten you so far, but this email is a little reminder that leadership is equally or even more about the being.
After a point, demonstrating that latter quality is what will help you get ahead faster and further in your career.
Of course the bigger consequence is that in holding steadfast to “I can handle everything that comes my way”, you are demonstrating to others that your wellbeing doesn't matter to you, so it shouldn't to them either.
The choice of whether to uphold the status quo or not is yours too.
And no one likes to hear this, but that change starts with changing you.
I hope this insight prompts you to evaluate your relationship to responsibility, and find the right balance between the being and the doing.
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