Why is people pleasing so hard to conquer?

Many of us identify with people pleasing, which is a habit of putting the needs of other people before our own, to our eventual detriment.

It might have been a mechanism we learned to adopt right from childhood, or something we picked up later in our journey from an environment that didn't make us feel safe, seen, secure, connected, or acknowledged.

So here we are, trying to quickly soothe the emotions that come up whenever we find ourselves in a similar situation or environment.

This makes people pleasing very hard to conquer because it's a reflex reaction to fix those emotions, rather than keeping you in your coolheaded logic from which you can more carefully consider whether to say yes or no to a request from someone.

As you can tell, people pleasing is a short-term fix which comes with long-term consequences.

Because persisting with such behaviours comes at a hidden cost to our levels of confidence and self-esteem which are both essential for us to thrive as women working in majority male industries.

Not to mention the possible negative impact of those requests from others that we easily say yes to, without thinking of our own regard. 

Or simply neglecting our own needs or stopping short of advocating for them.

Your 2026 could look very different if you did the opposite: getting honest and asking for what you want.

It could mean a promotion, a pay rise, more autonomy in how you run a project, flexible work hours to gain precious time with your child, rest and respite from always being go-go-go, better boundaries in your relationships, and so much more.

I invite you to join me for my free lunchtime masterclass on the 29th of January to learn about how you can conquer a pattern of people pleasing that you know is not really serving you or bringing you closer to the career goals you want to achieve.

In this interactive one-hour session, we look at:

- what causes us to adopt people pleasing behaviours and how this negatively impacts your confidence, self esteem and potential as a leader

- how you can overcome a pattern of people pleasing

- what a healthier mode of relating with colleagues, managers and stakeholders looks like

If you cannot attend, the masterclass recording will be made available to you to watch until the 5th of February. 

Book your place here or forward this invitation to a friend who struggles with conquering people pleasing.

I hope to see you there!