A mantra for people pleasers

Today I want to share a quick hack for anyone who identifies as a people pleaser.

None of us who do ever chose to be that way in the first place. 

It is a survival mechanism that we perhaps had to adopt early in our lives or careers in systems and structures that didn't give us our full place or power.

And sometimes being pleasing, agreeable, conflict-averse, and the person that always says yes gets us through the day or out of situations that would very quickly prove to us our powerlessness.

So people pleasing becomes a default habit because no one wants to feel powerless.

Often we are so unconscious of doing it that we hate ourselves when we recognise how we have been people pleasing.

It is a self-betrayal after all, so we experience it viscerally.

You can imagine that this does little to bolster your sense of confidence.

My sincere suggestion to you is to adopt the wisdom I learned from one of my teachers as a mantra and keep it top of mind when you encounter situations that normally cause you to default into people pleasing mode.

Remember this line: "If one of us has to be uncomfortable, it doesn't have to be me."

Read it, memorise it, hear it in your head, practice saying it out loud, and journal about how you are going to live by that principle going forward.

It might just revitalise your confidence and every single relationships in your life.

You might also want to join me for my free lunchtime masterclass on the 29th on Confidence and People Pleasing. 

Book your place here.

Coaching to heal your people pleaser and rebuild your confidence:

• Aspire & Ascend: 1-1 coaching for mid level and senior level women leaders who want to take their careers and businesses to the next level.

• Leadership Lab: Group coaching for women under 33 aspiring towards their first leadership role.